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The plane touches down on the tarmac, and time starts to slow … ahhh … we’re in Bonaire, where the diving is 24-7, and you only have to come out of the water for happy hour.
At Buddy’s Dive resort, the holiday started with an orientation talk followed by a dive on the house reef, after which we were free to explore the rocky coastlines and dive as much as we liked. For me, that meant I was in the water at every opportunity, clocking up 29 dives over the nine days we were there, and earning the title of scubaholic!
I started cracking the dive whip over dinner on the first night, when I persuaded my room mates Sue W, Sue S and Barbara to join me for a pre-breakfast dive. We found a small sea turtle, numerous eels, and beautiful sponges and corals – both Sues were keen photographers and were already coming out with some marvellous photos.
After a well earned breakfast, we had a nice slow start to the day, congregating around 10am in our trucks to load up with nitrox tanks at the drive through. Somehow everything was organised but relaxed, and finally we’re all set to go and get wet.
The first site we stopped at was Jeff Davis memorial, which had a fairly difficult looking rocky climb down to the beach, so we carried on to Weber’s Joy, which looked easier. The coastline around Bonaire is made up of coral rocks with some sandy inlets that provide slightly easier entry, and although the wind was high the sea was relatively calm. As a large group, it took quite some time for everybody to get in the water in their buddy pairs, then we descended on to the reef and were off! We were all excited to see another sea turtle, which was to become something of a trend over the next few days.
On the second dive at Andrea II, Kate’s amazing spotting skills found us a seahorse at about 17m. The tiny creature was wrapped around a soft coral and camouflaged within the plant. With so many photographers in the group we were there for quite a while, but finally everybody had taken many photos and we were off again.
We trooped home for lunch, then it was back off on the house reef for a last dive of the day for the hard core divers, another turtle, and this time a spotted stingray! I’ve seen blue-spotted rays in the Red Sea before but nothing quite as magnificent as this one as it glided through the shallows.
The next day was much the same, with a smaller group heading out to Andrea I for the final dive of the day. We were kitting up when, “Bollocks!” Collin had left his regulators behind – oh no! He entirely redeemed himself though when, after he had returned with them, we descended to find three sea turtles, who obligingly swam together for us as we looked on in awe. Had our fearless leader been more organised, we would have missed this beautiful sight altogether 
On day three, there were several of us out for the last dive to Alice in Wonderland (link to my blog post), and Collin asked me if I wanted to lead it. “Sounds like a fairytale to me,” said Sparkles. I was keen on the leading, but nervous not to mess it up! Luckily I managed to get us all back just fine, and we even saw two spotted stingrays! We got out to find that Mike and Elaine’s truck had a flat tyre, which took the combined effort of the men to fix it, while the ladies loaded up the kit. Thank God we still got back in time for our happy hour cocktails!
After several more days of clear blue waters, picturesque reefs, and sea turtles, a smaller group of us split off to do the wreck course, which Collin and Penny would be teaching, and I would be assisting on. We ranged from the more serious wreck heads (Mike and myself), to those who were more indifferent, through to the almost downright terrified! The wreck course supplied plenty of opportunity for innuendo around penetration, helped along by the “slippery dick” fish that we had identified from the reef guides, and not to mention the fun we had tying people – well, mainly me – up with knots and lines. Depending who you are, this could certainly be one of the perks of the TDM role!
The wreck course (see my blog post on the Divecrew blog) ran over two days, including navigation, mapping and penetration, as well as some extra skills thrown in – a practice of DSMB release (no, Sparkles, do not attach the SMB directly to the reel – that’s what the line is for!) and swimming with the alternate air source. I was able to demonstrate this with Penny, while trying desperately to remain still on the sandy bottom while the waves crashed above me!
With the wreck course complete, it was time to enjoy the manager’s Rum Punch party, and fun was certainly had by all as the free punch flowed, well, freely! So many photos, so few that are suitable for public consumption … it was definitely the most enjoyable assessment I have done!
Our penultimate day of diving was Sunday, the most exciting of the whole trip, with Tina’s DCP in the morning followed by an afternoon on one of the Buddy Dive boats. The brave divers who volunteered to role play for Tina sweltered through a half hour briefing, during which time we tried every trick in the book to put her off, but she covered virtually every single thing. Gutted!
Acting as a new open water diver with thousands of pounds worth of brand new kit, Collin managed to put several pieces together the wrong way around while eagle eyed Tina corrected him, then he jumped in and sank to the sandy bottom tank first. Meanwhile, Penny the BSAC diver was hard at work looking for some kind of unexpected tool to take on the dive, and finally found a plastic cutlass, coming at us shouting … “I kill you!” I was laughing so hard I nearly had a damp wetsuit before entering the water, while Collin almost choked when she came at him with it!
I was “unable” to descend, but as Tina had not briefed the “abort dive” signal I continued to try. Her husband was my buddy, and he was distraught at the thought of the bollocking he would receive later, as he accompanied me to the surface.
But Tina survived all of our efforts, and we went on a mission to hunt down the seahorses. I spotted a porcupine fish on a rock, and as Collin photographed it I hovered along the nearby rocks. There was a bright orange blob in front of me … hold on a minute … that’s a bloody SEAHORSE! I’ve found it, I’ve found it! Collin turned to tell the others and found its mate, curled around the soft coral just behind us. What a dive! We all signed the cutlass afterwards, which Tina kept as a souvenir.
In the afternoon, the first dive site the boat took us to was my namesake – Joanne’s Sunchi, which means Joanne’s kiss. Luckily I got away with not having to kiss anybody! Our dive guide Scott took us to see another seahorse, before bringing us back to the boat, where we hovered upside down for a while before clambering out. Well, why not?
The second dive was at Something Special, which was a pretty reef with a fair current driving us along on the way back, so that I barely had to fin at all. Cue the Superman poses! We were almost back at the boat when our guide banged his tank – he had found the elusive yellow frogfish! Several thousand photos later, and we were headed back to Buddy’s again, for happy hour!
Monday concluded our diving with Kate’s 150th at Oil Slick Leap – a wonderful site characterised by a particularly high entry point. Although I’m slightly scared of heights, I chose to step from the highest point – the water really does slap the back leg as you hit it! My navigation point for the beach was a pair of sponge corals in a ‘V’ sign at 9m, which was amusing. We didn’t see anything spectacular, but it was a nice last dive.
With no more diving and a late morning ahead of us, the evening was earmarked for some drinks. We congregated in the bar in time for happy hour, drinking rum punch and half price Hula Hula before we meandered on to the restaurant up the road. I chose Pink Panties from the cocktail menu, while Sue sipped something with Blue Curacao and we took photos of Sparkles with a pink frothy concoction.
With the meal out of the way, it was time for the diver awards – everybody on the holiday was recognised for some fun that they had added. Tina’s achievement on her DCP was closely followed by Steve’s “Sparkles” award – he had not noticed the misspelling of his name until almost a week in, which would cost him a nickname for life!
Frank’s award reflected his outstanding ability to eat steak every night, mostly in Patagonia. Steve N’s talent for karaoke was recognised (just wait for the Christmas party), and he quickly lived up to it with an ad hoc performance at the table. Sue W’s legendary mobile medicine cabinet will not be forgotten, and Sue S was considered the most improved holiday diver on her first Divecrew trip alone, after successfully mastering both her computer and camera.
Elaine, who had managed to remain below the radar for most of the holiday, will be remembered for the one occasion she left her computer behind on the truck; while Mike was the deepest penetrator from the wreck course …
Kate’s milestone was her 150th dive – the last of the trip – and the swashbuckling Pennyfish would forever be immortalised after her performance on Tina’s DCP!
Poor Barbara had never quite managed to fight off the jet lag, so she snoozed over her plate while Collin produced her certificate for the most ever bikinis seen on a single holiday (one for every single day!) I was recognised as a genuine scubaholic, and for “skin diving” at 30m – well, I might have been posing for a photo …
And of course that only leaves one award … our esteemed Course Director Collin (Do You Know Who I Am?), without whom we would never have been in the sunny Caribbean! We had presented Collin with his well earned plaque and thanks earlier in the evening.
So now as the plane edges ever closer back to the UK and my thoughts are turning back to the murky waters of Wraysbury and the delights of Slough pool, I’m feeling a mixture of sadness that the holiday is over, delighted with the memories and friendships that I’m taking with me, and impatient for the next one. And did I mention that I now only have one more confined water assessment left to complete my Divemaster? Nearly there …
It only remains to say a huge thank you to Divecrew for making the holiday not just smooth but bloody awesome!
I didn’t take all of the photos in this post, so many thanks to Tina and Steve “Sparkles”, Penny, and Sue S for the underwater shots!
